True love vs attachment

Attachment = “I love you, therefore I want you to make me happy.” This is looking for happiness, well-being, companionship and fulfillment outside ourselves. It is this grasping that causes pain. It is a trap that most of us fall into at least once in a lifetime and for some is a never-ending cycle of suffering.  And whose fault is that? Pinning our happiness on that other person is unjust to them and a bad omen for any relationship. Some people become suicidal when their relationship comes to an end, some suffer from severe bouts of depression, others begin stalking their exes and yet others go into a drunken stupor or isolate themselves from society. What these people feel is not true love, what they feel is a desperate need to be needed and validated by someone else. People who seek happiness outside themselves will never be happy.

True Love = “I love you, therefore I want you to be happy; great if it includes me, otherwise just be happy.” Because: unless we really like that other person for the human being that he/she is, unless we care enough about that other person to want for him the very best (regardless of whether or not he wants to share his life with us), unless we are willing to let him go (no resentments or strings attached)… it’s going to be a very difficult relationship.  

 

In conclusion: we are attached to someone when we are afraid to lose them to someone else; we truly love someone when he rejects us and yet we are willing to set him free and sincerely wish him well – that’s not being a dope, that’s a sign of character and strength. 

Although I understand the concept and strive to live it, I’m not quite there yet. Some days are better than others, but I am not that evolved to be as consistent as I would have liked. I suppose this is what being human is all about: awareness and baby steps. For now, being passed over still hurts like hell!