When love is not enough

• When you fall in love with character rather than compatibility.

• When couples grow as humans in opposite directions of each other.

• When you fall for someone for who they are, rather than how they make you feel.

• When the two of you are from different cultures, and you end up trying to become something you’re not in order to please and appease – losing yourself in the process.

• When your core principles and values are not in sync.

• When you are too stubborn to admit that a separation/divorce does not make a quitter out of you.

• When you have a tendency to look at the glass (sometimes) a little-too-fuller than it actually is.

• When you refuse to stop believing in miracles and fairy tales.

• When your partner does not take what is important to you seriously, but rather dismisses your needs as foolish.

• When you come home after a particularly stressful day at work needing to vent to the most important person in your life…only to be dismisses with a curt, “I don’t wanna hear about it, I have my own problems, do whatever you want.” Day in, day out.

• When you feel anxious and misunderstood rather than content and accepted next to the other person; when that state of contentment and peaceful-happiness comes when you’re away from that other person; and, above all, when you find yourself thinking, “I love him but I don’t like him”, or "I wish he were more like so-and-so."

• When he's an accomplished gaslighter, a true master of deception, and you're the victim of his insecurities.

Just because someone’s tall, dark, handsome, manly (and has a reputation for being kind, friendly, a hard worker and helpful) does not make them a good catch. Nor does that make the two of you compatible and a good match; and this little tidbit, in the long run, can actually be a recipe for disaster.
 
You fall in love with them for all these attributes but soon realize that you’re from two different worlds and that this other person does not meet your needs on an intellectual level or on the compatibility scale. He likes to watch TV, you prefer to read or converse; he hates jazz, you love it; he only watches action movies, you avoid them like the plague; you're a neat-freak, he's a disorganized slob; he sees blue where you see green.

You disagree on so many issues that most of your conversations end up being as short as possible in order to avoid arguments… etc. etc. etc. And yet you refuse to give up, all in the name of love. Until the day you realize that the abyss between the two of you is deeper than whatever shred of love or gratitude still binds you.

That’s when you decide no more.
That’s when you say: love is not enough.

Been there. Done that.

 

Be thankful for wrong relationships. By depriving you of what you need, they show you what is really important to you; they teach you, change you, strengthen you and prepare you for the right one.

In my life:

• I’ve lived;

• I’ve loved and been loved;

• I’ve lost;

• I’ve missed;

• I’ve hurt and been hurt;

• I’ve trusted and been betrayed;

• I’ve been a victim and I’ve been the culprit;

• I’ve erred, I’ve cried and I’ve laughed but, most of all, I’VE LEARNED! – the last five probably being the most valuable lessons.................. And the saga continues…..........